I’m not going to distract you with my story.

We all have our own stories (big and small). That load we’ve been carrying around for a long time like a crappy suitcase full of stuff we don’t need—we don’t even fully know what’s in there anymore.

We close our eyes denying the very existence of this load—all the while clinging to it full force.

Until one day, we look down and mutter, “Well, that’s ugly. Why am I schlepping this around?”

The weightlessness you feel when you walk away! And (as you may know) the questions that follow, including my personal favorite:

“Wait, did I just carry that around for 30 years?”

And you know what? The debris inside the suitcase is not what I’m interested in today.

I want to get my hands dirty, plunge into the real creative mess:

the process of letting it go.

I don’t have a PhD in neuroscience. I’m not a researcher, clinician or lifehacker. I can’t stare over my glasses at you and offer a Freudian interpretation…

I’m just like you, one more writer hurling myself at the human condition with a sense of adventure, a healthy addiction to art, a burning curiosity about the creative process…

And (like you) I am an expert on one thing: my own emotional landscape.

*All the Broken Things—Trisha Traughber 2019*

Why I make room for emotions.

After so many years of creative writing and journaling for self-care, here's what I know. I know that I need to welcome whatever comes to me as my words splash onto the page. I know that my writing is the place to make room for everything.

Last week, it happened to be anger.

But I’ve tangled with other things:

Anxiety. Frustration. Pettiness…

And all the other stuff I’d rather ignore just now—and preferably forever while being ever and always ‘fine.’ But that’s not reality, that’s not healthy and guess what else?

That makes for some seriously boring writing.

If you’ve ever read back over what you’ve written and said “Who cares?” well…maybe it’s time for you to confront some of your emotions.

When the temperature rises, I have a process.

I write alongside others during the creative journaling workshop I run. It’s something I’ve done again and again—and I know I will always find some strong emotions—and write at least a poem or two.

But this last time around? I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to bring myself to publish or share.

I felt a little sucker-punched to tell you the truth. Thrown off…I had a lot of anger to deal with—which is something I’d rather not deal with at all, thanks.

There's a rhythm to this work: finding the feeling, owning the story, making something beautiful from it...

and setting it free.

But here’s something else that surprised me this time.

How fast I went from 'white-hot' to 'free.’

Maybe I’m picking up momentum, that seems only right, after all these years of scribbling.

This writer’s self-care for white-hot emotions.

From one writer to another. From one human to another. Here’s what my creative process looks like these days.

This last week? my white-hot emotion happened to be anger.

But what will it be next week? It doesn’t matter. I handle all of them the same way.

*Through the Floor—Trisha Traughber 2019*

I’ve learned not to edit my emotions.

So on this creative cycle, I gave myself permission to be as angry as I wanted for one week--even at two people who are dead now. The thought of being angry at dead people struck me as a bit silly, and not very viable long-term…but still. Permission granted. The more ridiculous it sounded the more I went with it.

I’ve learned that if I’m feeling it? Chances are, I’m not alone.

I fantasized about visiting a rage room like the one I'd heard about when I was in San Diego--a place you can pay a small entry fee and just shatter dishes against the wall for a while. And so I did a little research, took society’s pulse, if you will. Apparently rage rooms are becoming more popular in the US and Canada.

And why not? These days, there are a few things worth being angry about. So businesses built on rage? Well, maybe they have their place in modern society.

Maybe we’re onto a story here, a piece of short fiction? A setting? The creative cogs are already creaking…

I also watched a very inspiring TED talk by anger researcher Ryan Martin.

Yes, there are people out there feeling angry, for good reasons (and other reasons too). There are people studying it. Because?

Just as your fear alerts you to danger, your anger alerts you to injustice. It's one of the ways your brain communicates to you that you have had enough. What's more, it energizes you to confront that injustice…
—Ryan Martin

And, of course, just as we’re not alone in the face of our emotions and experiences, we’re not helpless either.

There are infinite ways that you can express your anger. You can protest, you can write letters to the editor, you can donate to and volunteer for causes, you can create art, you can create literature, you can create poetry and music, you can create a community that cares for one another and does not allow those atrocities to happen.
—Ryan Martin (but the bold is mine)

I promise you, that whatever you are feeling—no matter how strange or awful it seems? There’s someone else out there dealing with it right now. Who can you look to? Who can you help?

A step back for a view of your fellow humans—well, I have to say, it’s great for your writing. Of course it is—the best writing remembers this one thing: it’s not about you!

But, it’s not just great for your writing. It’s great for you too.

And so is remembering all the positive ways you can put things back together again after experiencing ‘white-hot’ emotions.

Of all the infinite ways of putting the pieces back together? Creating is my favorite.

Ok, ok. So the emotions are here, the good, the bad, the ridiculous, the perspective is coming…It’s time to put ideas aside for the next story, the next poem…

And instead of finding a place to release my emotions by breaking something in real-life, I chose to create that space for shelter, for expression, for breaking down old ideas.

And I chose to create something from the shattered pieces I find all around me.

In my most recent dance with feelings that felt too big, I used that creative heat to write this poem. And I created another illustrated poem about coming full-circle.

Personally, I no longer see a difference between creating something beautiful and creating something that puts the world back together one small piece at a time.

For this writer, they are one and the same.

When emotion strikes you?

I hope you’ll make some space for yourself and scribble, doodle or collage your feelings.

I hope you’ll find your words and your markers and make a creative mess.

And maybe you’ll share it with the world, so that others can enjoy something beautiful that you’ve made. So that others see that they’re not alone. So that somewhere, someone out there starts asking questions…taking action.

Or maybe the change is ‘just’ in your—in your life. Maybe you find your way full circle from ‘white-hot’ to ‘free.’

That’s beautiful too.